'Real Housewives of New Jersey' star Jackie Goldschneider says there was an "incident" before filming that led to "tension" with Margaret Josephs (2024)

In reclaiming her voice, The Real Housewives of New Jersey star Jackie Goldschneider is no longer submitting to the “blind loyalty” she felt her former BFF Margaret Josephs expected of her. While Bravoholics have been privy to some sort of friendship-ending feud between the two women, most assumed it had everything to do with Goldschneider’s budding relationship with Josephs’ sworn enemy Teresa Giudice. However, tensions between the once-close pals appeared high from the very first episode of Season 14, meaning something deeper must be at play.

“I think that back almost a year ago, there was an incident that I won’t go into, where I felt like she showed me that I was not that important to her anymore,” Goldschneider told DECIDER when asked if something happened before filming started. “As time went by, other things would happen where I felt sort of like when my status on the show changed, my importance to her changed. And I was okay with that but I needed to take a step back from that relationship.”

Everything came to a head during the May 26 episode of RHONJ when Josephs defended Danielle Cabral for not inviting Goldschneider to her party. Their argument escalated when Josephs called Goldscheider a “disgrace” for failing to check in on the first anniversary of her ex-husband’s death and neglecting to give her an early copy of her book, which Goldschneider has since refuted, telling DECIDER that she gifted the entire cast an early copy once it was completely finished. The author called her disagreement with Josephs at the softball game the “tip of the iceberg,” though teased a future scene in which Josephs allegedly did something “so bad” to her that it was “very hard to come back from.”

Goldschneider, who was brought back as a “friend” last season after four seasons on the full-time cast, also shut down Melissa Gorga‘s recent speculation on Watch What Happens Live that she befriended Giudice to get her previous position back. “That’s a very convenient narrative for her because nobody wants to accept the fact that I could possibly like someone that they hate so much,” Goldschneider said, noting that she and her family are “happy with the friend role.”

She continued, “My relationship with Teresa evolved and I think that really bothered certain people, Melissa included. I never had a fight with Melissa this season. She just went with the team mentality and put herself on a team. I did not do that. So she aligned with people who didn’t like me and that’s a very convenient narrative for her.”

Ahead of tonight’s new episode, Goldschneider stopped by DECIDER’s offices to chat about the drama in Season 14 that made RHONJ feel more like a “competition show” than a reality show, her newfound “confidence era” and her blossoming friendship with Giudice. Check out the full interview below.

DECIDER: I’m super excited about Season 14. How are you feeling about this season now that we’re a few episodes in?

JACKIE GOLDSCHEIDER: I have mixed feelings. It’s hard to watch back some of the bad parts. Obviously, it’s not easy to watch a friendship fall apart. But I’m excited. I love knowing that my book is going to be showcased there. I am excited for people to see the evolution of new friendships in my life, and I think there’s a lot of drama but there’s also some good things coming.

I think one of the biggest shocks to the audience was your newfound friendship with Teresa Giudice and Jennifer Aydin. Were you shocked to find yourself getting closer to them after so many years of feuding?

I think I was initially shocked at how little I cared about the fight that we had years ago. I was trying to be really authentic to myself and think about whether I wanted to move forward with our friendship just because other friendships were falling apart or if this was something I really wanted. I was surprised at how much I really wanted to see if there was friendship there.

I said to my husband first, I said, “Would you care if I was friends with Teresa?” When the friendship with Teresa started getting going, I said to him, like, “Are you still angry? Because if you’re not okay with this, I won’t do it. I won’t pursue it.” And he was like, “I don’t care at all about that fight. It is so in our past. I’ve moved forward a million times. Go for it, whatever feels good for you.” So I felt very at ease giving it a shot and I’m excited for people to see it because I think right now there’s a lot of conspiracy theories about what happened. But what it turned into was a really special friendship that is still going strong.

I am curious: what is it you cherish most about your friendship with Teresa?

She’s really easy to be friends with. There’s not a lot asked of you as a friend. We are not best friends. But we have a very nice friendship. I love that she’s very thoughtful. My son had a terrible injury and she was the first care package that we got and it was an immense care package. My husband helped Teresa’s daughter with something and again, an immense care package. [She’s a] very caring friend. [She] calls and checks in all the time. We don’t even talk about the show. We talk about our kids, we talk about our lives, our families. She’s a really supportive friend and she doesn’t expect or ask a ton in return. There’s no blind loyalty expected. And I don’t expect that of my friends too. I think friendships should be easy. They should just contribute joy to your life and our friendship is very easy.

I’m sure it felt like a weight lifted off your shoulders to not have to walk into a room with Teresa and be on guard.

Yeah. I mean, listen, the world right now is in shambles and I feel like if you can eliminate toxicity from your life and just bring in light, you should do that.

We’ve all spent months wondering what happened between you and Margaret. You guys had your first argument in last week’s episode but it seems like the tension went back to Episode 1. Had something happened prior to filming that led to you two drifting apart?

Yeah, definitely. I think that back almost a year ago, there was an incident that I won’t go into, where I felt like she showed me that I was not that important to her anymore. And then as time went by, other things would happen where I felt sort of like when my status on the show changed, my importance to her changed. And I was okay with that but I needed to take a step back from that relationship. I think when I started to distance myself, she got angry about that and I think she took that as me being disloyal.

Something else happened right before filming and I just think that she and I were not in the best place going into filming. We certainly weren’t in a fight, but there was tension.

Margaret seems to feel left out about not getting a copy of your book. Did you know she was that bothered by it at the time?

No, because first of all, let me clarify. Jenn Fessler’s party was two months before my book came out. My book was not even finished at that point. I finished writing it but the hardcopy was not finished at that point. So the publisher had unfinished press copies, which were soft covers, unedited, that they sent to people who asked to do press on me. I had none of those books.

Melissa Gorga asked me to do press with her so they sent her a copy of the book. That was two months in advance. Margaret got an early advanced copy of my book. She just didn’t get it two months early when it wasn’t finished yet. I sent the entire cast a package, which some of them did unboxings, where they took the book out. This was before it was published. So she certainly got an early copy of my book. It wasn’t really about the book. It was about the fact that other people got something she didn’t get and it was that blind loyalty that she has to come first.

There were definitely some harsh words exchanged at the softball game, with Margaret calling you a disgrace. Do you think or hope your friendship will one day get back to what it was?

Let me preface that by saying the softball game was the tip of the iceberg. There is a scene coming up and I have not seen it yet but I know what happened. If it was like a Level 2 at the softball game, it was a Level 10 [in this scene]. It was so bad. She did something to me that I felt like was something that is very hard to come back from. That being said, unless you physically harm a member of my family, everything you can come back from. But there has to be conversations. It can’t just be swept under the rug. You have to talk about it and there needs to be some apologies. But yeah, absolutely, I do not think that our friendship is dead in the water.

One last question on this topic, Melissa seemed to suggest on WWHL that perhaps you befriended Teresa to get your full-time spot back. What is your response to that?

That’s a very convenient narrative for her because nobody wants to accept the fact that I could possibly like someone that they hate so much. First of all, if you know the way that the show works, it’s not the person who goes in and causes the most scenes gets the biggest job. It’s not the way that it works. I mean, full-time positions for the show are chosen based on a variety of factors so that being in my head would be a very stupid move for me – doing something inauthentic just to try to get my full-time spot back.

Second of all, I’m very happy with the friend role. People can say whatever they want about it. My four teenagers do not want cameras in their faces right now. They would not be thriving with cameras in their faces. My husband doesn’t want to be full-time this season. You can ask anybody. I made no phone calls asking for a full-time position. I didn’t ask anybody for a full-time position. I didn’t ask production. I didn’t want it. If I wanted it, I would have fought for it. I didn’t. I did this season – what felt right for me and I came in with nothing pre-planned. My relationship with Teresa evolved and I think that really bothered certain people, Melissa included. I never had a fight with Melissa this season. She just went with the team mentality and put herself on a team. I did not do that. So she aligned with people who didn’t like me and that’s a very convenient narrative for her.

Also, something that [Melissa] said on Watch What Happens Live – she said that me and Margaret are enemies. [She said] we’re just not friends, we’re enemies. That is not true on my end. I am not looking to hurt Margaret. I don’t wish anything bad for Margaret. We had a beautiful friendship. I think one day we could possibly be friends again. I am not her enemy. I don’t want that narrative out there. I’m nobody’s enemy. I’m not trying to hurt anybody. I’m not contributing to any toxicity on this show and I would really love it if the show could have been about a group of friends, which it was not this season. It was like a competition show to see who could ice out everyone else and that makes me sad. But I’m not Margaret’s enemy and I am not friends with Teresa to get a full-time position. I mean, people are gonna speculate the way that they want to and I can’t stop them and that’s fine but I know the truth.

I do want to get to you and Danielle. You guys definitely didn’t mesh well last season and it seems like the disconnect has continued into this season. What can you tell us about that? And do you think there’s a world where you and Danielle can be friends?

I don’t really care that much about Danielle. I wish I did because I think my answers would be better. I really don’t care. I do think we could be friends – like, not hate each other. I just think we’re very different people. I think there’s something deeper with why she dislikes me. I don’t think it’s because I looked at her outfit. I mean, Margaret made fun of her dress at the finale last year. She called it an Amazon dress. There’s something way beyond just me looking at her outfit from behind. I think that she has some deep-rooted issues with me that don’t have anything to do with me. I think maybe she dislikes somebody that reminds her of me. I don’t know what it is. But there’s something way deeper there that I don’t even care to get into.

You’ve been so brave to open up about your recovery – and I loved to see that in a recent Instagram post you said you’re now in your “confidence era.” What tips do you have for women (or people in general) looking to bring out their inner confidence?

Yeah, therapy. My No. 1 tip. I am such an advocate of therapy. And when I say therapy, get a therapist who does not coddle you. My therapist now – she’s my eating disorder recovery therapist – but in order to do eating disorder recovery, you have to really delve into everything. What caused it, right? So she does not take it easy on me. She pushes me and she makes me create boundaries and she makes me talk about things that are uncomfortable, really uncomfortable, and she doesn’t tell me what I want to hear. So get yourself a therapist who really is going to push you to be your best self.

When you stop caring as much about what other people think of you, it does wonders for your life. It’s like the world opens up. So a great therapist, supportive friends [and] introspection is really important too. Sit down sometimes and really just think about, what do I have to be grateful for? What don’t I like about my life that I can actively change? Just try every day to do something that moves your life in the direction that you want it to go in.

On the therapy front, I feel like so many people knock it until they go and realize how helpful it actually is.

Well, talking to somebody who you know legally can’t take it anywhere else – that’s one thing – but also that is gonna give you educated feedback. Not, like, one of your friends. Not saying friends aren’t valuable. My friends, if they told me that someone was bad to them, I’d say screw it, leave them, don’t ever talk to them again. A therapist is going to walk you through the reasons why you want to consider talking to them again or what you can do to fix the relationship so it’s different. Therapy is a different animal. It’s so helpful.

I’d love to talk about your podcast with Jenn Fessler. Do you have a dream guest you’d love to have on Two Jersey J’s? If so, who?

Yes. Our podcast Two Jersey J’s is about middle-aged women stuff and there’s so much stuff. Jenn’s 55. I’m 47. So we talk about all the things that affect you at this stage in life. There are so many fabulous, amazing women in this phase of life that I would love to have on like Madonna or some of my favorite actresses from the ’90s like Jenny Garth, Tori Spelling. I would love to have all of them on, but I did take a shot. I shot my shot and I asked one of my dream guests to be on and they said yes. So they’re coming on – I don’t want to ruin it – they’re coming on in a few weeks and I am just beyond excited. When she comes on, you’ll know it. She’s a big one.

We also saw Jenn Fessler getting messy with Wessy, a.k.a. Summer House stud West Wilson, on Instagram.

I loved it so much. I love that so much. They had such chemistry, too. Now I don’t watch Summer House but I do know him because I read The New York Times. I’m a nerd. I just read his whole spread the other day and now I think I have to watch Summer House because I’ve heard that he is just so charming.

Would you say that Jenn Fessler and West are the two biggest but most harmless flirts on Bravo?

Jenn’s not really a flirt. She’s just so charming. There’s something about Jenn where you just want her in your life. She’s really a warm person. Who’s the biggest flirt in the Bravo universe? I don’t even know. I don’t even know because I don’t hang out with the young people.

The RHONY ladies!

Oh yeah, Brynn [Whitfield]. She’s so good at flirting. She should give flirting lessons.

Is there anything else you can tease about the rest of the season?

I mean, it’s not great. The season’s great, but the things I’m going to tease are not great. There’s a lot of friendships that fall apart. There’s a lot of nasty fighting. There are some good times. But, you know, a lot of questions get answered. I’m just gonna say stay tuned. You’re gonna see – a lot of your questions are gonna get answered.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey airs on Sundays at 8 p.m. ET on Bravo. New episodes are available to stream the next day on Peaco*ck.