Owner/Director
“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.’“
– Erma Bombeck
The daughter of Charles L. and Marie Whigham, Carolyn was born in Newark, New Jersey. Her courageous spirit and determination came early in life as she was one of only ten (10) children of color matriculating at Vailsburg High School from 1962 until 1966. The following year, Carolyn enrolled at Virginia State College in Petersburg, Virginia majoring in Business Administration. She was recognized for outstanding leadership being elected Ms. R.O.T.C. (and so began her moniker as the Little General).
After marrying in 1974, Carolyn moved to Los Angeles, California and began a successful career in real estate. Bennett and Bennett Associates soon became the largest black owned property management company in Los Angeles earning them a feature in Black Enterprise Magazine. Not only was the business growing but more importantly the birth of both children, Steveland and Kara-Lynn. In 1984, after her divorce the family moved back to Newark where Carolyn made the decision to enroll in the American Academy of McAllister School of Mortuary Science graduating in 1986. Upon graduation, she received the Thomas Quinn Award for the Most Outstanding Student and so began her esteemed career. She has been a NJ state funeral director for over 27 years.
Carolyn worked side by side with her father for many, many years learning the management side of the business and the “art” of embalming. She was inspired by her father to travel to Egypt to study the Egyptian Art of Embalming because the business was constantly evolving. He never wanted her to become complacent with just knowing one methodology. In 1993 when Charles L. Whigham made his transition, Carolyn assumed ownership continuing the legacy and preparing the third generation. Steveland and Kara who are also licensed funeral directors.
Families who walk through the doors of the Whigham Funeral Home are always assured that their loved ones would be treated with love and respect because the business of dying has more to do with the living. Carolyn firmly believes in leading by example so she too meets with families; embalms; answers phones and directs funerals. Featured in the New York Times and most recently Star-Ledger reporter Barry Carter wrote, “Her style has been praised the world over and even caught the attention of a funeral director in Liberia, who wants her to start a branch in his country.”
Carolyn is an accomplished speaker, hosting seminars on “How to Conduct High Profile Funerals” that were accredited by the New Jersey State Board of Mortuary Science with attendees from New Jersey, New York and Pennsylvania. She is a member of St. James A.M.E. Church; Bethany Chapter #43 Order of Eastern Stars; PHA member of Essex, Hudson and Union Funeral Directors Association; Garden State Funeral Directors Association and serves on the New Jersey Board for the Statutes of Women.
Carolyn credits her philanthropic efforts for the betterment of the community to her father who founded City National Bank, the first black owned bank in New Jersey. She has partnered with the Newark YMCA to create housing for the chronically homeless because everyone should have a place to call their own. Although private time is often non-existent, she chooses to celebrate her birthday and Christmas with the homeless, inviting hundreds to dinner complete with transportation and gifts. Her dedication comes with its share of sacrifice having to cancel vacations with her partner of more than 16 years Terry Whigham; missing her children’s games and interrupted dinner engagements. But according to Carolyn, “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass…It’s about learning how to dance in the rain.”
Over 6,000 funerals including names you probably know like Sarah Vaughn, Whitney Houston, John Houston (Whitney’s father), Congressman Donald Payne, Lance Owens (Queen Latifah’s brother), Emily Miles (Newark fashion designer) and names you may not know like Louise Agnes Nelson (Newark resident), Edward Stafford (Newark resident) and thousands more. Every family receives the same gold service whether they’re the very rich or the very rich in heart. Along with Steve and Kara, she is the mother of Aazim, Chastity, Chad and Nyle. Grandmother of 9 who affectionately call her, “Spice.”
FAQs
If you do not opt for embalming, the funeral director can prepare your loved one's body for a viewing before their funeral following many of the same steps – washing the person's body, setting their features, brushing their hair and dressing them. The person's body will be kept refrigerated in between viewings.
Who makes the most at a funeral home? ›
High Paying Funeral Professional Jobs
- Funeral Director. Salary range: $52,500-$76,000 per year. ...
- Embalmer. Salary range: $41,000-$58,000 per year. ...
- Cemetery Caretaker. Salary range: $42,500-$50,500 per year. ...
- Funeral Arranger. Salary range: $44,000-$50,000 per year. ...
- Crematory Operator. ...
- Funeral Attendant.
When you come through the front door, you will be greeted warmly by a staff member. Names will be exchanged, and hands shaken in cordiality. Some words of comfort will be offered. Once informed of the reason for your visit, you will be directed to the funeral director's office or arrangement office.
Do you have to tip the funeral director? ›
Tipping is not even considered for a funeral director. If the funeral home provides pallbearers for the funeral service, and the burial after, it might be nice to tip them. But the funeral director is a well-paid professional who is not dependent on tips.
How long after death do you see a funeral director? ›
A funeral is typically held around one or two weeks after the death, though it may be longer if the funeral director only has certain days available or if there is an inquest into the death. You may wish for your loved one to be buried as soon as possible, depending on their religious beliefs.
Do they drain your blood before cremation? ›
Is a body drained before cremation? Draining a body of fluids does not happen before cremation. If a body is embalmed before cremation, the bodily fluids are exchanged (drained, and then replaced) with chemicals during the embalming process. These chemicals are also fluid.
Do morticians empty the bowels? ›
I then puncture the internal organs to drain the fluid. I remove the contents of the intestines, bowels and bladder, too, as these can give off gases and smell. I don't come into contact with the fluids. It's very clean and tidy.
How do morticians sew mouths shut? ›
The oral and nasal cavities are swabbed clean, checked for any purge material, then the throat area is packed with cotton. A common method of mouth closure is via needle injector. A needle with a barbed tip and with a wire attached is driven into the maxilla, behind the teeth, and another driven into the mandible.
What is the busiest funeral? ›
The funeral of the charismatic C.N. Annadurai (died 3 Feb 1969), Madras Chief Minister, was attended by 15 million people, according to a police estimate. The queue at the grave of the Russian singer and guitarist Vladimir Visotsky (died 28 July 1980) stretched for 10 km (6 miles).
Who is the main person at a funeral? ›
3. Lead the ceremony: The officiant will lead the funeral service, guiding attendees through various elements such as prayers, readings, musical selections, and other aspects of the program as agreed by the family. They may also offer words of comfort and support to the grieving family.
The average salary for this position across the U.S. is $59,777 per year . Some of the cities that report the highest salaries for funeral directors and morticians include Denver, Colorado; Jacksonville, Florida; Atlanta, Georgia; and King of Prussia, Pennsylvania.
What is the meal after a funeral called? ›
The gathering after the funeral usually has food known as a repast. Repast food is a type of food that is often served at funerals. It is typically light and simple, such as sandwiches and finger foods.
Do funeral directors embalm all bodies? ›
The most important thing to remember is that embalming is a very personal choice and by no means compulsory. If you're still unsure on whether you would choose embalming for your loved one, please contact your local Co-op funeral director who would be more than happy to answer any questions.
What happens when a body arrives at a funeral home? ›
Once a funeral home has picked up the body and brought it to their facility, they will then clean and dress and/or shroud the body. Afterward, the body will be placed in refrigeration to keep it cool until the day of burial, at which point the body will be transported to the burial site.
What to expect from a funeral director? ›
Your Funeral Director will ask you about the deceased's religious beliefs, their personal preferences, and the type of funeral they may have wanted. They will also discuss the different options available such as burial or cremation, and the total cost of the funeral, as well as any additional fees where applicable.
What questions do funeral celebrants ask? ›
The celebrant may ask you questions about the life of your loved one, their character, their values, and what made them the person they were. To help tell their story, funeral officiants encourage families and friends to share memories that illustrate the different aspects and interests of their life.
What do you talk about at a funeral visitation? ›
Speak from the heart and with kindness:
- "(The deceased) will be greatly missed. I'm sorry for your loss."
- "Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss."
- "(The deceased) was a great person, and I'll miss them very much."
- "(He/she) meant a lot to me and everyone else at (the work place.)
Their hair is combed and cream is placed on their face to prevent skin dehydration. The deceased is then covered and will remain in the preparation room until they are dressed, cosmetized and ready to be placed into a casket for viewing. Typically the viewing takes place a few days after death.
